Been browsing through the book, and through my memories eventually. There's this seeming question: do you pick up where you left off, or start all over again, like there never was a memory of it. It has lain beside me now since I picked it up from the post office, and I still I am not sure whether to start on the first page or somewhere else, or whether to read it all. It's old really, it even smells different. But, yes, thank you, it's not really that you owe me, at that time, I was sort of glad you were reading it, or was about to read it.
"...to the last hour of my life, you cannot choose but remain part of my character, part of the little good in me, part of the evil. But, in this separation I associate you only with the good, and I will faithfully hold you to that always, for you must have done me far more good than harm, let me feel now what sharp distress I may..."
Those lines stopped me from reading any further more than five years ago. Reading them again, I was waiting for that sort of familiar twinge of pain somewhere in my chest area. I can only muster a halfhearted perhaps; that that feeling had all been sussed out some years past, you see, she still hits like a jackhammer sometimes.
Perhaps I should leave off reading the book altogether. And read more science fiction instead. Then again, I suppose I might leave it all up to you, like inspire me and I'll finish the book once you get past these lines. "...I saw no shadow of another parting from her."
But thank you still, for letting me hear something from the years past, and the now.
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